


Bucky's Complete Lack of Surprise

by zetsubonna



Series: All American Bicycle [15]
Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Gen, Halloween, Halloween Costumes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-20
Updated: 2015-10-20
Packaged: 2018-04-27 06:11:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5036893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zetsubonna/pseuds/zetsubonna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Anon requested: In honor of Octoberween~ Prompt: an evil wizard attacks the Avengers & co. in the middle of their annual Halloween party. They're magically turned into whatever they were dressed up as! The only major issue is Steve, who, as a joke, had dressed up as the comic book Captain America-- now he's unironically shouting about Truth, Justice, and the American Way-- and it's driving his beaus crazy!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bucky's Complete Lack of Surprise

“Bucky?”

Bucky stared at him. “Aw, Hell no,” he said.

“What in blue blazes?!” Steve exclaimed. “Bucky, this doesn’t make a lick of sense!”

“You’re… seriously not fucking around,” Bucky said, shaking his head. “I am Jack’s Complete fucking Lack of Surprise.”

 “Bucky! Language!”

Sam sighed. “Okay, that’s it. Are there any directors we  _can_  let Bucky binge-watch?”

“Correction,” Bucky said, having knocked Steve to the ground with a punch from his metal arm right on the jaw and leaving Steve seeing stars that were- oddly- visible to everyone else. “I didn’t watch  _Fight Club_. I read the book.”

"You would like Palaniuk,” Pepper sniffed disparagingly.

“Just let’s all be grateful I went with The Narrator and not Tyler,” Bucky said. “The Narrator is an everyman, and that’s why I’m not fucking crazy right now. Who’s going to un-Batman Stark? Not it.”

“Never teaching you anything ever again,” Sam said.

“I fear Lady Jane remains distressingly rose of hue,” Thor reported, leaning in the doorway. “She has not yet managed to actually perform sorcery to turn the festive treats into an army, but it is not from lack of trying, and Lady Darcy’s floating disconcerts. Any solutions as yet?”

“I got nothing,” Sam said. “What happened to Natasha?”

“Princess Anastasia? She’s missing,” Clint said, rolling his eyes. “I think she’s invisible. I hope she’s not dead. I told her to go with the animated version, but _nooo_.”

“What even is your costume, Potts?” Bucky asked.

“A sane person,” Pepper said. “I knew none of you would know what one looked like.”

**Author's Note:**

> Bucky is The Narrator, Steve is Comic!Cap, Jane is Princess Bubblegum, Darcy is Marceline the Vampire Queen, Thor is a Disney prince, Tony is Batman, Sam is 'the first dead guy in a horror movie,' Clint is a farmer, Natasha is Princess Anastasia.


End file.
